Issue #1 |

Why I Am Not an Asshole

I am not an asshole. I am a very

kind and giving person. Where is

MY freaking thank-you? Also,


Mr. Pissywussy was declaring 2004

the year of blind choices. Now I have

to take time to be grilled on what

I want to write about and

why. It’s a “Cat Spa.” It’s my goddamn

money. Don’t tell me what I can

or can’t buy. You are an asshole

who looks down a tunnel. “DIE

you stupid arrogant American, DIE.”

Oh by the way, I am using WordPress

now, that’s why I am referring to it.

Just don’t fuck with me,

I am here to share with you the sad thing.


At least I don’t hold much respect

for people. I am not an asshole or

a bitch, more like an asshole and a moth.

In case you are wondering why I am

on MySpace at this time of day,

while I will not be known

as a Lortab doc, I am someone

who isn’t interested in reading.

That is why I am dressed in anachronistic

clothing, and am able to talk to you. Every

time I see someone in a wheelchair

or leather I laugh. Now I know why

I am separated. Have a good weekend.

K. Silem Mohammad is an American poet and Professor of Creative Writing at Southern Oregon University. He is one of the Flarf poets. He is the author of several books of poetry, including Deer Head Nation, A Thousand Devils, Breathalyzer, and The Front.  

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