Dear University Office of Risk Management (IV) Thank you for sharing your reservations about my recent letters. I was not going to say anything, but I think you should know that these missives were penned by my undergraduate research assistant, N***. This circumstance should contextualize any irregularity in form or content. I do not wish …
Dear University Office of Risk Management (III) You will find with this letter three vials of my blood to help with the university’s new wellness initiative. My aversion to blood made me avoid the mobile-medical-unit that visited campus last week to collect samples from employees. With that acknowledged, I understand that the blood will be …
Dear University Office of Risk Management (II) I wanted you to know about an imminent threat to the campus community presented by changes to our dental plan. Specifically, I am concerned about the elimination of benefits for family members of university employees. More specifically, my wife’s teeth matter a great deal to me. The origin …
Dear University Office of Risk Management Please do not be concerned about the fire alarm that was pulled in the library last Thursday afternoon: I did this to test our evacuation procedures. I was concerned that there had not been a single drill this semester. In the event of a real emergency, everybody should have …